Has online dating ruined how we connect with each other? Does the swipe right and match take away from the genuine connections we have formed naturally in the past and make us simply lazy?
What happened to the good old days of calling the person you liked, asking them on a date, arranging it a few days before hand, being picked up, being taken somewhere nice and maybe a little bit romantic and being shown a lovely time, getting dropped off and a good night kiss with no expectations of the horizontal salsa and then you hear from them to make another date?? GONE I tell you they have GONE with the wind! (clearly I am very traditional, quoting old school movies, or maybe I am showing my age haha)
What happens now is very different. Has technology ruined it forever?? There are so many pro’s and con’s to online dating, I guess it just depends on how we treat or mistreat it.
Some pro’s and con’s include;
We can meet more people around the world
We get lost in all the options
It reduces the blind date risk factor
We have become superficial
You feel connected
We are actually disconnecting from reality
Communication is quick
It is so quick we get inundated and we don’t actually reply to messages
So many options
We get decision fatigue
Has technology ruined it for us all and generations to come??
No, I don’t believe that online dating has ruined how we date and connect, yes it is has contributed to a major shift and has changed the game a lot, I don’t however, think it is the cause. I think we need to take a good long hard look at ourselves – the users or should I say abusers!
I think we have abused the system, you go to the gym and watch everyone train instead of training you won’t get the results. You look at the clothes in the window and don’t try them on you won’t know if it fits you, reality check – same goes for online dating. The upside is – we can change the game again if we like!
Online dating is a tool we have been given in order to make dating easier, allow us to connect with more people and have a choice, remove the uncertainty of blind dating and enable us to find love.
We have gone and sabotaged it and made it harder rather than easier.
Did you know that Tinder was actually created to connect people and take away the stress of wondering if someone was interested and it was launched for uni students, very similar to Facebook. What happened from there is all our own doing. Sorry to say it guys and gals, we are living in a society filled with deviants afraid of falling in love – hence the tinder booty call was created – which is technically called “Netflix n chill”. We are quite good at sugar coating the truth haha.
So yes, my belief is that we use it incorrectly. Online dating is not the perpetrator, it is the victim and we made it the murderer to dating and finding love. Instead of its original purpose, it is now utilised for booty calls, dick pics, ego boosts, a swipe game and more. We don’t put any description, we put photos of our pets and food, we don’t include pics of just ourselves, we message and don’t respond, we match and don’t make contact, some people use it for a sounding board about all the shitty dates or a way to abuse the opposite sex for being douche-bags or gold diggers and yet we are all confused.
Then when we do finally meet someone online and the magic happens we say – “oh lets just say we met through friends” so then online dating doesn’t even get any credit at all and no one really knows the beauty of it if you use it correctly.
It is absolutely possible to find love online, I know many people who finally admitted to me they met online haha and that is because they used it correctly. I think Tinder should have a different site – maybe called sexter or something where you go just for booty calls and a site for relationships so we can separate the two and make it easier for people to find what they are looking for.
I even want to design an app that has a video profile so you can listen to them speak and you can say something about yourself rather than a short, uninformative description that is generally written in emojis combined with pics that don’t even show their face or hobbies. Put effort in, you will reap the rewards.
No more charades or pretending one thing to get another or leading people on. Just straight up front, good old-fashioned honesty and integrity. It is hard to do that these days as we are all a little bit too scared of getting hurt with the truth so it is easier to lie and get what we want and disappear not realising that actually hurts more in the end which is ultimately why I think we got ourselves into this predicament in the first place but that is another entirely new blog topic.
Either way, do I think you can find love online – Yes! Here are four quick steps to aid that
Write a good profile description
Pick great pics of you eg; doing your hobbies, hanging with friends, head shot and full length
Actually message and respond
Make a time to meet
If you want to download the 6 Steps to a Killer Online Dating Experience you can do so in this link.
We can change how it works by simply changing your attitude, make some effort and be a little bit vulnerable. If it doesn’t work out, there is plenty of fish, another great dating app haha.
Go forth and prosper!!